“There’s not much I can do” = There’s SOMETHING I can do.
Things have been up and down the last couple of years.
The Basement Office and all that is related has been sorely neglected. I’ve lost touch with some wonderful people and a lot of life has slid right by me. It couldn’t be helped. For those familiar with the Spoon theory, I’ve been basically very very short on spoons for a long time.
I still am, I’m still working on that.
I’m not alone these days reading the news and that everything is caving in. I see a lot of dark, a lot of hate. On the personal side, I know I’m not alone running into challenges in our daily lives. A lot of us are struggling. I’ve been luckier than most, despite my rantings.
I can acknowledge there’s a lot of good things and actions out there, but sometimes it just seems like they are outnumbered.
I know people who are tireless and valiant and who are out there doing everything they can. I admire them. I am far from tireless.
“There’s not much I can do” was something that echoed in my mind. I mean that in the sense that there isn’t much I feel I am ABLE to do.
This morning, that thought hit me hard, but somehow it was deflected in my mind. I don’t know how.
There might not be much I am ABLE to do means there ARE things I am ABLE to do.
The urge hit.
The lack of creative work in my life has taken it’s toll. I feel like I’ve lost a good part of myself. Time to look around, poke around (and through) the cobwebs and see what’s there.
I don’t exactly know why I’m feeling the urge, but you know what? It’s there. I don’t know what I’ll do with it yet, but there’s a few options.
I’m lucky in several very real and important ways. I have a supportive partner. I have a wonderful family. I have great friends (whom I’ve ignored terribly.). I make a good living and can (somewhat) pay my bills and I have my own space where I can put down my thoughts (and it needs to be used).
Maybe it’s time to clean up and reopen The Basement Office, air things out, see what I can find.